How is this supposed to become anything at all? I say: "Yes, I don't think that's the case, I'm not trans, that went completely wrong. I work against it. She doesn't have to deal with that."

And yet: It's on the table. And even when I say it like that, she not infrequently asks if I believe that I am trans, which I then deny to some extent. It is now in her head. And at least I say that the hormones did me good, but not particularly much more.

Someone else said to me: Why have I stopped hormones now? It's on the table now, isn't it? It doesn't matter now, does it? Direct, but perhaps also true statement. I think about it a lot. One thing is certain: At the moment I'm not doing it right. At least not for me.