I've been on holiday for 2 weeks now and have pondered endlessly. I got nowhere. I didn't tell my wife about it. But my marriage is falling apart more and more. I continue to keep my distance. I love her, endlessly, but I can't do this to her. And unwittingly, I distance myself because of it.

I don't know any other way because of the job and I don't know what to tell my therapist next week. It's been a cruel two weeks that have led nowhere.