There are so many who felt the same way I did. Some even realized it later. Nevertheless, it almost doesn't make sense to me. There are so few signs from the years before. I almost said that all the little "outliers" are normal developmental steps. "Trying it out" so to speak, like mommy's clothes. Of course, we're not all the same, I'm not implying that either. I'm just trying to understand why this is happening now. At the peak of my life, so to speak. There, where I have worked out everything I have ever dreamed of. Exactly there I make everything unnecessarily difficult for myself again.